Aishwarya Rai in The Last Legion

It's the only mention of Aish I could find by the Indian media... given in that snobbishly condescending, more-English-than-English way ex-colonialized Asians often have when gleefully describing their fellow countrymen's failure to reach a standard they've set for them.

For me, I don't understand what this splashy big waves thing that they want her to achieve. I personally think she's the best thing in the movie. And that's saying a lot seeing that I'm there mainly for Colin Firth. There're scenes when, while screaming fangirlishly at anything Colin does on-screen, I found myself silently criticizing his posture or his dialogue delivery or his sword skills. In fact, I caught myself thinking (quite a lot of times too, and while ogling him in his Commander apparel) ...what is the reason behind the filmmakers choosing Colin as Aurelius? He'd make a better Merlin, a much better one than Ben Kingsley, actually.

There's almost none of that non-verbal complaints playing like a broken tape recorder inside my head when Aish is on. I was too busy gaping in lovestruck awe. She's a demon in the sword-fighting scenes and very rawrly sexy when she's strutting around in that guard uniform. I have no problem at all when a warrior woman appears overtly sexy in a film, if she could give me a decent fight. And Aish fought good. I rewinded her fighting scenes so many times. She'd look hot wielding the blades alongside Xena, I bet. Her emergence from the water is very Ursula-ish, if I may say so myself. I especially liked it when she stamped all over the Commander's head. His face during the scene is so precious LOL!

Thing is, I have never understood how to watch a movie in the enjoyment of continuity or story as a whole. I've always been attracted to particular scenes or particular actors. I can catch a tiny fragment of a film and if it evokes deep emotions, I can cry big buckets of tears or laugh uproariously. Which is why I don't like watching films with people for the first time, or any time really. I tend to get too critical if I take a movie seriously and it robs me of the entertainment value the film has to offer.

The Last Legion is a very entertaining movie for me and I came out of the experience enthusiastically declaring that there's no way I can say the money I spent on it is a waste. Even with the crow-picking-a-severed-finger and Wilfula's face-banged-on-the-side-of-an-axe scenes intact, it's suitable for family viewing... well, my family anyway... and I'd definitely recommend it to my younger siblings and my dad (he's a history teacher so he'd most probably enjoy the Roman bit) when they come to visit next time.