Just mumbling...

I stumbled upon this blog post today... it's not that I'm ranting against it in a big way or anything, but I've found similar posts/forum comments like this scattered all over the net and just feel like mumbling about it in cyber space:

You know guys/gals, people do change. And as we change due to whatever.. age, some big/small life experiences, meeting new people or just coz we feel like it.. the things/people/stuff we love sometimes (or most times, as usually is the case with me) change too. Nobody should point fingers at you and say, "How dare you don't love Shah Rukh anymore!" nor should the change of heart make you feel guilty.

In fact, if anyone were to tell you that you don't deserve to call yourselves SRK fans before coz now you don't love him in the same way you used to, you should tell 'em to bugger the fug off. It's your heart, it's your time, it's your life, hell.. it's your money. You loved him once, and as some romantics say.. it's better to love once than never to love at all.. right? :P

Shah Rukh makes something happen to my heart (kuch kuch hota hai, hmmm?) and as long as he continues to make me feel that special feeling that only a few people can evoke, I'll be around. I wish I could be closer to him, but I also know that it's not really what I want in life. I just want to be the little old me who goes about puttering in her crampy lab doing experiments that may or may not result in something interesting, watching his new/old clips on youtube everyday while wearing down her treadmill (ha! I wish! I run like an old woman..), dancing to songs from his movies a few times a week, buying his DVD whenever she can spare some cash, and writing crappy posts in this SRK blog whenever she feels like babbling about anything SRK-related. I don't want to go to his concert, I don't want to que for his autograph, I don't want to do a darshan in front of his Mannat, I don't want to line up the side of a road to catch a glimpse of him and scream his name when I spot him walking/driving/rushing by, I don't even have India anywhere near the 5 countries I want to visit the most. I'm probably the most useless fan Shah Rukh has ever had!! (lol)

I'm very selfish when it comes to Shah Rukh. I love him as long as he keeps me entertained. I don't know him personally, nor do I want to (coz I think a meeting with him can change my life, and I love my life the way it currently is too much to have an epiphany now) so I don't feel guilty about this. However, let me say something here.. I do pray for him. He is the only muslim celebrity I have ever prayed for. I take my prayers very seriously.. I don't even pray for the goodness of a relative if I don't think he deserves my prayer (there's a relative of mine who I think can pray for himself for all I care). But I do pray for Shah Rukh. I love him lots. He's changed some of the ways I think, and consequentially some of the ways I do stuff, simply by being his schizophrenic self in interviews and by just leading his simple yet complicated life the way he wants to. It's been a fun ride following him from afar so far.

So you know, if following Shah Rukh Khan is no longer a fun ride for you.. you should get off at the next station. You should be happy with the people you spend your time with, even if they're not physically there with you. I have a few others that make me happy, and if anyone tries to make me feel guilty for not focusing exclusively on SRK, I'll kick their arses and tell 'em to bugger off 'n get a life. That's what I think about this 'skrimishies' (this is my own word, don't go finding the definition on google) issue.. I wish me writing about it will make it go away, but unfortunately humans love to torture themselves over skrimishies issues over and over again. It's been happening for millenniums and I doubt that it will disappear simply coz a puny critter like me wish it to. Probably coz it saves us from having to think about heavyweight issues that will require us to take action and do something positive with our lives.. ha!

Whatever. I'm done here.