There're fans who drove for 2 nights in a row just to catch a glimpse of him, and then there're fans like me who'd probably just look from afar even when he's by himself with no bodyguards surrounding him. Some may say I'm not a 'real' fan for not wanting to be in the same space as Shah Rukh.. but I do think he needs fans like me, as much as he needs fans like them. He needs to be pursued relentlessly, but he also needs to be left alone. All of us serve some purpose in our own way. I do think that most of the purposes are ours with no regard whatsoever to what he may feel about them, but is that bad? That's just us being human, IMO. Obnoxious and endearing at the same time. Humans fascinate me. I fascinate me. I'm happy being me, and I'm happy that Shah Rukh Khan is Shah Rukh Khan. Am I making sense? Probably not.. :P
I'm happy documenting his life in my blog, and now following him/writing to him on twitter. This feeling of happiness is real. I didn't make it up. I didn't have to force myself to smile when I read what he wrote, or hear what he said in an interview. It's a natural thing. And not just smile.. I always laugh my heart out when I detect a joke hovering in-between the lines or just blatantly out there for people with a clue to pick up on them. I cried when he was injured. I'm angry when he is cussed, insulted, despised. I'm bewildered when he's hated. I just want to be with him forever. But I also know there'll come a time when I'll drift away from his world. Change is inevitable. So before I change.. or he changes, so much so that I can't follow him anymore.. I'm determined to enjoy him now as much as I can in the only ways I can.
To actually believe that by watching all the 10 episodes of the Discovery Travel & Living series, or read his autobiography that will come out "next year for sure" (or so he said), one will know the real Shah Rukh Khan.. is a delusion of the highest degree. We are allowed to see only what he allows everyone to see. He may stay that way for some time in the future, but he will change too and those changes will probably not be documented. Comments like.. "But you said this before, and now you say this!" thrown at him really annoys me. No. People with no imagination is what really annoys me, coz they're inevitably the ones who always give out irritating comments like that. You know who else annoy me? People who think he's perfect. People who jump to his defense (especially when there's no need to do so).. not to defend him, but to show that they are his defenders. Just because the solar system revolves around Shah Rukh Khan, doesn't mean you can be some dust particles in the asteroid belt that zig-zag madly about and go collision-happy with any asteroid in your path. I have plenty of chill pills, if you gals/guys run out of supply.
You want to know why I love Shah Rukh Khan? Because he's always been consistent in showing to us how human he is. That he's imperfect. That he's NOT the hero he always portrays on the big screen. That he can get hurt, physically and emotionally. I love that it's completely okay for him to let us know that he's petty.. and arrogant.. and selfish.. and self-centered.. and completely focused in what he wants to do that everyone else can take a backseat (except his family who's his most important entity).. and that he loves his fans/friends/colleagues a lot as long as we understand that we don't own him. I love how he flaunts his stardom, his wealth, his fame to our faces.. and yet casually goes to public functions in his t-shirts and jeans as if he doesn't care that the image he projects makes him look exactly like the newcomer he was back when he first came to Mumbai nearly 20 years ago, minus the baby fat of course. I love his contradictions and his unyielding principles. I love how scandal-less he is despite being the star most embroiled in controversies. I love everything 2D that I know about him. I love that there's so much I don't know about him, 2D or otherwise.
Following Shah Rukh Khan is like following 20-50 celebrities at once. And that's just how I like things to be. My name may not be Khan, but I'm currently very happy.
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