Shah Rukh, you have had a foot in two worlds, so you might know how to deal with your wealth. See it in perspective. But what about your children? When you can afford everything, is it a struggle to know what you will give and not give them? What rules do you use? How do you stop them from being privileged brats? How do you foster empathy?
"I give a lot of things to a lot of people because I can afford to. I have two logics for this and both of them are diametrically opposite. But that’s not to say they are wrong. Both could be working. I am a giver by nature, of material things. On KBC when I give a watch, it is not a gimmick. It’s not been worked out by anyone. TAG Heur has not been roped in as a sponsor. It is not paying me for these watches. They are my personal watches. Yes, I know that if I gift out all of them, they’d have to give me another one to wear, because they want me to wear it. So I gift all of them.
As for my kids, when they ask for something, I believe they deserve to have it. But my wife is more pragmatic. She has lots of middle class values. If suppose Mohan (his personal guard) is to travel with me, I’d like him to travel first class. He’s been with me for seventeen years. I love him. I know he’d enjoy the experience. But my wife is like, no, neither will he -- or maybe he can -- but the kids won’t. Now we have come to an understanding: club class. She was pushing for economy. I could not travel ever to a foreign country until I became an actor, because my parents could not afford to send me. But if they could have, they would have. I can, so I would like to. But my wife -- we go to Hemly’s and we are given twenty pounds to buy toys, which is okay, I suppose. But on the sly, I cheat on my wife. I buy my kids anything that they want. I am a sports lover. So if they want cricket, I’ll set up a pitch in the house. In their own way, that’s what my parents did for me. My father would take us to a pitch, or my mother would call up the Firoz Shah Kotla grounds and say, ten boys are coming to play… So I try to do the same. I am so childlike that most of the things they like, I like as well. So I share it with them. But I don’t spoil them. There is a huge control over that. But if you ask my wife, she will say, Shah Rukh spoils them. I guess all fathers do that. They feel guilty that they don’t spend too much time with the kids, so they make up with presents. I am a bit like that. I make up with material goods.
But I haven’t taught my kids that it’s a dog-eat-dog world. It’s a rat race. Money is the most important thing in life. I’ve never taught them that. As a matter of fact, I want them to have a very normal upbringing, just like I had. Only, I want them to have their parents around for longer… You know, a lot of people think I’m a smart guy. Nobody thinks I am intelligent. They don’t know I am intelligent. They say, he’s got the gift, he can talk. But the values I give to my kids are very clearly that of an intelligent man, not of a smart guy. I don’t tell them to be a smart ass. It could be anything -- from being nice to the people that work for you, or with you, to saying sorry to them if you have asked for a glass of water. I never let my children yell out to the servants. Apart from that, to give you an example -- one day I was going in a car with special security etc, and sometimes the cops stop you. Then they realize the window is blackened because there is special permission or whatever, and they let you go. So one day my son was sitting in the car. He wasn’t wearing a belt, the cops stopped us, looked inside, saw me, and said, sorry sir, and let us go. A few days later, my son was alone with the driver and the same thing happened. And he turned around and told the cop, I am Shah Rukh Khan’s son. He had to go back and apologize to that cop. He had to sit in the car, drive back on his own, find the guy, and say, I’m sorry, it was a mistake, I should not have said it. I was brought up by my dad like that. I don’t reprimand my children ever. I never shout at them or my wife. I have never raised my voice at anyone in my family. They can’t fool around with their mom like they do with me. But somehow they know I am very strict in a strange sense.
Yesterday, I think these boys were rude to the maid. I didn’t tell them to go and say sorry. I just explained to them what it means to be a servant in somebody’s house, and what it means to be rude to someone who cannot be rude back to you; not because she can’t be, but because maybe she will lose her job and maybe she can’t afford to do that. So you have an unfair advantage. Are you going to fight a fight in which you have an unfair advantage? They said, no, so I said, then you decide what your heart tells you, and go say sorry to her. I’d do that. My heart would feel better. They did that. When I asked my son later, did you say sorry? He said, ya, but don’t talk about all that heart and all. Should I have pushed it further? No, I think you can let it go at that. I know it’s embarrassing to get into matters of heart, he’s just a nine-year old.
See, I don’t have rules. I think I’m the kind of person who doesn’t have to make rules for them to be followed in his office, or in his house. I think I bring in an atmosphere where my children, and the guys who work with me, try to impress me because I love them so much. They really like to impress me. I trust people a lot. And very few people have broken my trust. I think nobody’s broken my trust. And I think most of people around me understand that."
..and this is just one question answered out of ~42. I wish I knew him when I was on the verge of deciding my university course. My life might have been radically different.. but then again, I chose that path with a clear head so maybe not XD". It's only now that I'm faltering coz I'm doing something I really really didn't want to do and I only did it for others (my family). Most of the time I ask myself, will I die in the middle of doing something I'm not passionate about at all?
The rest of the interview can be found here.
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