Saturday, July 18, 2009

O really?

I just found out through Feedjit that my post was upped as a lone thread in the Firth Sisters! That's rather cool. While I was browsing around one of the sections in the forum, I found this. It looks amusing and started me on a trip through the whole Loose Women archive in Youtube. There's quite a lot of it, really... and most of the episodes are brilliant. I hope whoever they are, they'll keep uploading coz I can see myself getting hooked on the program.



Having said that... BJ3?? Will Colin Firth (and Hugh Grant, I guess) be in it? Coz if he's not, then the whole trip is just a waste. I hate it when women are whining about trying to decide whether they want to be mothers or not. As if it's up to us to decide. If this movie were ever going to be made, I hope it's sensitive to the plight of couples who can never have children no matter how much they wish to or how hard they try to conceive. As one half of a couple, I've never been much sold to the idea of having children for the sake of having children so I don't even fit into the 'trying hard to conceive' category. Children are one of those 'treasures' that will stay with you forever however they turn out to be in the future and I'm too much of an individualistic bitch (at the moment) to care for that much responsibility.

We do get pressures from all sides though. I'm so used to it by now that I've managed to turn every answer into an opportunity to embarrass my interrogators or to amuse myself with their earnest reactions or just to have a laugh. But occasionally there have been very, and I mean VERY, well-intentioned individuals who pursue the line of questioning until it turns into one of those semi-counselling sessions with a large dose of medical advices thrown in for good measures from professionals and non-professionals alike. And I especially hate it when they use the 'biological clock' card in an attempt to get me registered into a clinic like.. the next day! That's rather unfair, seriously. Don't even do that to someone you hate coz you're being unnecessarily cruel. I do want to know what all these 'discussions' about my sex life and whether or not I have 'problems' can possibly benefit them. Fug it if my friends are married or breeding by the dozens or single... good for them! I hope they're all happy in their respective lives! Lay off the inquisitions, please!

It's never occurred to them that I might not be that interested in the lifestyle they're suggesting. I look like how any conventional Malaysian woman is supposed to look like and as such, I must desperately desire babies! I want so much to tell them that if I could get them naturally, I would have no choice in the matter, would I? I'd be breeding like rabbits by now coz my religion forbids me from having an abortion and contraceptive means don't always work for those determined wigglies. Just one of them is enough to get you bloated, really. But to go through all sorts of pain with a 20% success rate medical procedure that can easily cost me 10 years of savings for something I'm not even sure I want? The whole thing sounds too involved and awefully tedious. I don't think I'd like to travel down that path, thank you very much.

But of course I can only write this in a blog. To say such things to very well-intentioned individuals who happen to be your immediate family members or an old friend you've not seen for nearly 20 years seems like callousness. My last resort to make them shut up is nodding and agreeing whole-heartedly to their POVs. That usually works. Oh, and ask them some questions about it too... that can definitely make them think I've seen 'the light' or 'the errors of my ways'. Some responses can also be used to change the turn of the talk, and I'm usually creative at this sort of thing. Most of them don't have enough energy or care that much to follow you up and see whether you've taken their suggestions seriously and 'do something about it'. Frankly, the issue is probably bandied about like it's the most important thing in the world for them in the first place coz they're not well-read enough to come up with intelligent topics of conversation, and I'm too polite to turn the spotlight on them for a change. I can be vicious if I wanted to, but then I'd feel shitty about myself and it's just not worth all the sleepless nights spent staring at the ceiling wishing I could take the words back.

Meh... I can't even muster enough passion to continue writing about this. Maybe the 3rd installment of BJD is a good idea after all. I can watch it and be a passive observer to someone else's impregnation drama for a change, albeit a contrived one.

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